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Internet Porn, worse than drugs?
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After being on vacation for over a week, I decided I wanted to touch base on a subject that really has me concerned. I recently received a disturbing phone call from a very good friend. She had been dating a man for about seven months when she kept feeling something was just not quite right. Her womanly radar was on high alert and her gut was telling her to beware. Some of us more religious types would say it was the Holy Ghost trying to warn her.
So after some advice from me she decided to do a little "womanly" research and sure enough she found some very disturbing things.
Her boyfriend had been exchanging text messages and phone calls with "an old girlfriend" who happens to be a very colorful type of person. (aka: stripper and former prostitute). Not to mention he was lying to her about who he was communicating with. He was communicating with this woman behind my friends back even while they were for a romantic weekend. He was also searching singles websites on the internet but not just the typical eharmony type sites but what you might call "interactive" sites where you pay to have certain acts performed via camera. aka porn. What I want to know is how is this legal?
Needless to say when a man or woman spends thousands of dollars on these types of websites you have to consider the fact they are addicted. Yes, it is an addiction and according to an article on wired.com it is a fast growing problem. Read the entire article at:http://www.wired.com/science/discoveries/news/2004/11/65772
Numerous studies have been done on the ever growing problem with the addiction of internet porn. It is a problem which seriously needs to be address and resolved as soon as possible.
Men and Women can easily get addicted to internet porn because it stimulates the brain activity. It feels harmless like you are not really doing anything wrong because there is no personal contact.
When my friend confronted her boyfriend he had the typical response of denial saying "Well, I was not sure we would last because I never thought I could get someone as good as you in my life", I wanted to keep my options open just in case!
When asked about the "interactive" porn sites his response was "I didn't realize I was doing anything wrong" Oh please! Grow up, this man is over 30 years old, he should know better. When a man spends more time viewing these types of websites instead of nourishing his relationship with a real woman several things happen. He becomes addicted to the website thrill and the sexual relationship with his real partner diminishes because it "isn't enough". The thrill of getting away with something that is supposed to be illegal increases the adrenaline and he has to have more. Let's face it, this is a true illness and it will continue to get worse until he seeks professional help. It is forever, he will most likely never change.
From a woman's standpoint, we feel cheated on, used and worthless. How can a woman compare to the thrill of porn on the internet? Isn't it bad enough we are slammed with models who are so skinny the average woman arm couldn't fit in the jeans they are wearing and society thinks we are supposed to look like them, even though the majority of them are under 15 years of age! If you are in a serious committed relationship the woman will view it as cheating, It could create self esteem issue and will certainly bring unnecessary tension into the relationship.
Of course there are cases where both partners are "into" this type of behavior and if that is how you wish to run your relationship that is your choice, however, be aware that this is addictive behavior and it will only continue to get worse and extremes will have to be exceeded.
So where do you draw the line? Personally, I would end the relationship and end it as fast as possible because the addictive personality will try to convince you it's ok, they didn't know it was wrong, they will change, etc. The truth is it won't! This man is sick, he needs help. This is a serious mental addiction.
If you have a question that you wish to have me address, feel free to contact me at fairytaleauthor@aol.com
Till next time,
Jennifer
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