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That thing on Riverfront Park puts ol' Nathan Bedford Forrest to shame
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Just so Alan LeQuire won't think I'm picking on him exclusively, I would like to draw your attention to the ugly red thing that is down by Riverfront Park. I could look up the name, but I think you know what I'm talking about. The worst thing about it, in my opinion, is that our fair city paid millions of dollars for what looks like the efforts of some guy from Chicago "repurposing" old railroad tracks. That may fly in Chicago, I don't know. Maybe there are people in Chicago who would step back in awe and gush over the emotional expressivity of Time Carnival or whatever that thing is called. But here in the South, we look at something of that caliber and say "Hey, look what DeWayne done after Sherrice broke up with him last Friday!" We Southerners have a long and familiar history with outdoor monuments, and therefore everybody in the South knows that they either look like somebody, possibly somebody riding a horse, or they look like the works of DeWayne. And we appreciate DeWayne and his works, we really do. Everybody has to have an outlet. But we have better sense than to pay a million dollars for it. Or at least I thought we did.
This fundamental knowledge, by the way, is why Ol' Nathan Bedford Forrest is so unpopular with Nashville. Sure, he is riding a horse. But he is riding a horse two sizes too big. And waving a sabre that he stole from Arabian Nights. No wonder the horse has crazy eyes. As for Ol' Nathan-- well, maybe being on a hose the size of an elephant would make anyone feel like waying the cutlery around. If Ol' Nathan were bigger, or the horse were smaller, or if he were doing what everybody knows men on horses do in statue form--either riding it sedately or executing a perfect Lippizaner stallion rear-- the people of Nashville could overlook the fact that the horse is bronze and Brother Nathan is silver.
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