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Postive self-talk for moms
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Moms seem to be super-human. You work, play, organize, clean, fix, prioritize, make, do, give, love, and more, each day. With life pulling you in so many different directions at once, it is important to make sure you are your own best ally in the day-to-day struggle, instead of your own worst enemy.
Positive self-talk and the language you use when speaking with others is one way you can sail through your day with more energy and a spring in your step. Studies show that negative thoughts drain us and create a limiting view of our environment, while positive thoughts create a more expansive view that allows for greater creativity in solving problems and seeking out options and opportunities.
Basically, researchers have concluded that if you change your language, you can change your life. Try it at home, at work, or even out running errands. For instance, let's say you are getting ready for work and you look at yourself in the mirror. Is the voice in your head kind, complimenting you on your hair, remarking how great you look in that new sweater, and telling you how firm your butt looks? Unfortunately, if you are like most women, the default response is more like, “Ugh, what is with this hair?! Is this sweater too tight? Do these pants make my butt look big?!” Is this how your day started? Or, what about at work? Did you congratulate yourself when you finished your project ahead of schedule, silently pat yourself on the back after speaking up in a meeting, and do a little victory dance when you were invited to the Who’s Who luncheon? Or, did you move on to the next project in line, telling yourself there’s never enough time, berate yourself for possibly saying the wrong thing in the meeting, and go through a laundry list of reasons why the Who’s Who luncheon just might be a disaster?
Written out like this, it seems obvious which voice you would prefer to have narrating your life story. Still, much of the dialogue running in our head is by default and not very nice. So, how can you become your own best ally and say goodbye to your internal naysayer? Here are a few proven tricks to get you started:
1) Retrain and Reframe: Once you put your attention on your internal dialogue, you will become aware of all the trash talk going on minute to minute. It wouldn't be acceptable for anyone to talk to your daughter this way, so why should it be acceptable for you? As you notice what you are saying internally, you can start to retrain yourself by reframing your thoughts. For instance, instead of thinking, “Why did I just say that? That was stupid,” you might replace the thought by thinking, “Interesting. Is that how I really feel? How might I have said that differently?” By reframing and restating your negative thoughts and internal dialogue, you create new pathways and train your brain to think in a new, more positive way.
2) Use Affirmations: Do you remember Stuart Smalley from past Saturday Night Live episodes? He may make you laugh at the idea of using affirmations, but they actually can be quite powerful. By repeating positive thoughts over and over, your mind begins to believe them, arranging other thoughts and actions to support these new beliefs. Every time you feel a negative thought creeping in, head it off and think, “I feel fabulous!” Try it.
3) Recruit A Friend: Recruit close friends who care for you and whom you trust. Ask them to kindly bring it to your attention if you are speaking negatively about yourself or others. They will hold you accountable and you can return the favor for them.
Give this new approach a week and see how things change around you. How does your family respond? How are things at work? Most important of all, how do you feel? You may want to begin a journal noting prevalent themes or repeated thoughts that keep popping up. With a little effort, you can make things a little brighter, from the inside out.
For more info:
Follow these links for more on how to reframe your thoughts, create powerful affirmations, and become impeccable with your word. Don't like shopping online? Check out The Book House of Stuyvesant Plaza and treat yourself to a beautiful new journal at Pearl Grant Richman's. Don't want any more books bulging from your bookshelf? Remember, the local library is a valuable, yet free, resource. Last, but not least, work with your coach to become your own best ally.
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