The Most Annoying People On Television

 

There are a lot of people on television who you certainly wouldn’t want to be stuck in an elevator with for any length of time. But these five people bring out a level of annoyance in me that is something special. And no, I don't mean special in a good way.

5) Lauren Conrad
I could tolerate Lauren Conrad if she only appeared on MTV's "The Hills." That show is certainly easy enough to ignore, and not having to watch it would be more of a moment of celebration than depression. But it's impossible to get away from her, as she uses her reality TV G-level stardom to appear on red carpets and awards shows on a regular basis. It's not that she doesn't have talent.

That flaw certainly hasn't been a hinderance to many other people's careers. ABC has even cranked out a hit show which allows people with no talent to date each other ("The Bachelor").

The problem with Lauren Conrad is that she's not only dense, she's boring. Listening to her in an interview is like listening to a dial tone. All you notice are the semi-exposed breasts and the constant hum coming from her mouth.

4) David Caruso
I want to like David Caruso. I really do. He's a good actor, and when "CSI: Miami" became a hit, I was happy to see enjoy his comeback. But as the seasons have progressed, his acting has become more and more stylized and predictable. To the point where every scene involves Caruso either cocking his head, putting his hand on his hip, removing his sunglasses and glaring or throwing out some watered-down Clint Eastwood-style quip.

Caruso isn't quirky any longer, he's annoying. And it's never a good thing when you're watching a TV show and you find yourself overwhelmed with the need to grab an actor by the shoulders and scream "Stop that!"

3) Larry King
I appreciate Larry King's talent. When I was a young tike driving back and forth to college, I frequently listened to his old overnight radio talk show. He's certainly capable of doing a good interview. At least, he used to be.

But the prersent-day King is infamous for both not knowing guest he's actually talking to, or forgetting simple facts about their stories. Whether it's not realizing that he's actually speaking with Bonnie Hunt instead of Helen Hunt, or calling Ringo Starr by the name "George," King is an embarrassment.

Yes, celebrities like to appear on his show. But only because they know he's no longer intellectually capable of asking a tough question. I loved my grandfather, but I wouldn't have wanted to watch him try and interview some politician. And I feel the same way about Larry King.

2) Mario Lopez
Who knew that "Saved By The Bell" would be the high point of Mario Lopez's acting career? In recent years, he's become a variety show host for hire. He's hosted everything from "Pet Star" to "Randy Jackson's America's Next Dance Crew." And the thing about his hosting is that he's certainly very smooth and competant. But he's also devoid of personality and any sort of chemistry with the contestants or judges.

Watching him struggle to hip himself up on "Dance Crew" is the most entertaining part of the program (and what is he doing wearing a sweater on that show, anyway?)

1) Bill O'Reilly
I don't mind his politics, I don't mind the fact that he's a blowhard. That's certainly seems to be a core qualification for anyone hosting a cable news TV talk show. What I dispise about the guy is that he's a bully. And it's not just that he pushes guests around on his TV talker, he's been known to send a producer to people's houses just so he can get a bit of ambush video.

It's no surprise that many people dodge appearing on his show, or put it off until the last possible moment. It's also not a surprise that he doesn't book some people who can defend themselves intellectually. He like his guests either helpless, or too dignified to respond to his attacks in kind.